The Amalgamation of Non-Aligned Lifeforms Starfleet Radio Plays
- The Wrath of A Con
- This is the play that started it all. The first documented consecutive use of the
terms '
Amalgamation
' and 'Starfleet
'. It was originally written in
1982 by the A-room (Audio Room) team of SOB²,
the UNO Science Fiction and
Fantasy Club. The original concept was that of a Cyrano Jones type guy
(remember the Trouble with Tribbles?)
who had finished up his semi-kilofortnight sentence of cleaning up space station
canine and came gunning for the captain who put him there. Then we added the SF
con, and once the Orcan Egg idea came along, poor Jones was forgotten. Again.
After much talk about what was going to happen, a team of thousands assembled in
the University Center to write it. Okay, but it couldn't have been fewer than
twenty. Somehow, I (Gus) had the duty of scribbling everything down.
This is probably for the best, because my handwriting is terrible, so I had to
edit it mercilessly. A tape was produced on 1 April 1983 at the home of
John Frederick Haugh II. The play was adapted to the stage and presented at
VulCon in August of 1983 at the Airport Hilton, where it flopped.
Local fen may also remember that evening as the last great punch-bowl style
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster party. (Actually, it was a trash can, but we were
young and foolish. Some things change; some don't.) We let CoastCon talk us
into presenting it again at their convention in March of 1984 at the Hotel
d'Iberville. We decided to return to an "audio
" format, and did the play
with scripts in hand in front of a common microphone. We also came with a box of
empty beer cans to do the Foley work. The format, more rehearsal, and a more
sophomoric audience conspired to make this one a success.
- Star Yecch II: The Return of The Boobyprize
- Undoubtedly the greatest of our plays to date. This one was written by just
George, Liz Eckerle, and me, again in a room upstairs at the University Center.
I had scribble duties again, which meant that George and Liz developed
most of the dialogue by talking to each other, and I threw in stupid jokes and
puns, some of which died, and others became central themes. To preserve the feel
of Star Wars, with its dramatic scene changes,
we found we had to boost the role of the Announcer, until we realized it was like
The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. That's when
we realized things were starting to get truly stupid, so we pulled out some more
stops.
We performed this one at the March 1985 CoastCon, at the Biloxi Coast Coliseum.
Since time was limited, we had to cut the play from its original forty to
forty-five minutes down to about twenty-five. Since the slowest part of the play
was undoubtedly the opening, we 'lobotomized
' the play for the performance.
This time, we decided to do sight gags as well as the audio. Michael wore a French
Maid outfit over a pair of nerf footballs to be Olhora. I made a Mounti uniform
for Scoot Seersucker, and a green fake-fur mandinka and chains made from yellow
construction paper so I could be Ensign T. Bubby brought Derth Nader to life with
a German War Helmet, motorcycle goggles, and a cape. A large plastic cup provided
a suitable voice echo. I also made a couple of sabers out of quart beer cans and
PVC pipe. Hitting Darth's helmet with
one of those sabers made a great sound effect. (Of course, we managed to pull
together another box of empty beer cans, too).
All of the plays up to this point were performed during the lull known as
"Costume Contest Judging
". Unfortunately, this time, the judges weren't
sequestered, and they couldn't keep their minds on judging, what with all
the stupidity going on six feet in front of them.
We also did an encore presentation of this one at CoastCon 1997, which also
featured a box of orange confetti to recreate one of our running gags. If you
can't figure out what I'm talking about, you need to read the script! NOW!
- Star Yecch III: In Search Of...Spot (or,
I'll take you home again, GKathleen!)
- This one was written specifically for CoastCon 1986. As of CoastCon 1985, we had
no idea what we were going to do, and really had no intent in using the subtitle.
With the addition of the G at the beginning of the name, it all came together.
Ensign T returned, because we thought of some new material for him — and like
Corporal Klinger, this walk-on/walk off part has grown into great continuous
stupidity in a recent e-mail war. Yet somehow, I don't think he'll ever
be company clerk.
- Star Yecch Negative II: Forward Into The Past
- In which the BOOBYPRIZE crew get court martialled; have a bit of fun with
Rocky Horror; meet the inventor of the WArP (and Trash WArP) drive,
Halvoline Pennzoil Edsel; encounter a new generation of BOOBYPRIZE
crewmembers, and save the universe again. I only have a
fragment in my possession; does anyone have a full copy?
- Star Yecch Negative I: It's the BOOBYPRIZE!
You're Saved!!
- In which the BOOBYPRIZE chases a Rice Rocket into what they used to call
a black hole, emerge some two and a half kilofortnights in the future,
kill some Klingfrees, kill some more Klingfrees, kill yet more Klingfrees,
and meet the new generation again -- but earlier on their timeline.
- The Trial of the Millenium: Disposition of the Estate of H. L. Niagara
- Inspired by the O.J. trial and the the untimely death of H. L. Niagara, majority
stockholder of Niagara Industries Limited, Admiral of the Fleet, and just about the
nicest guy you'd ever want to meet. Usually, the estate just rolls over quietly
to the next of clone (in this case, H. M. Niagara), but this time it got
interesting...
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